


Cowboy Bebop changed the group’s name to Anime 2.

by like



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anime, Blackwatch, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Humor, Memes, TW Homestuck mention, blackwatch chatfic: it's gay now!, the chatfic this fandom deserves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16824703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/like/pseuds/like
Summary: The Big Boss™: what’s this all about jesse?Yeehaw: oh yeah! i made us a group chat so we can communicate easierThe Big Boss™: that’s what our comms are for.Yeehaw: but what if we can’t talk at any point?Yeehaw: like what if one of us is hiding somewhere and can’t be heard? this way they can just type instead!!Naruto: That… actually makes a lot of sense.Yeehaw: see? 100% of the scientists we asked support the product so it must be a good idea





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i noticed this fandom's obscene lack of chatfics and took matters into my own hands and also cured my writer block while i'm at it  
> i hope the formatting's not fucked rip..... also a warning for brief mentions of animal cruelty but other than that all triggering stuff are mostly canon typical (and only briefly mentioned too)  
> stuff might be ooc but lbr this is mostly for fun so it doesn't really matter yeehaw i hope you enjoy this fic

[5:23 PM]

 **Yeehaw** started a group.

 **The Big Boss™** was added to group.

 **The Big Boss™** : what

 **Naruto** was added to group.

 **Sword Art Online** was added to group.

 **Sword Art Online** has left the group.

 **Sword Art Online** was added to group.

 **Sword Art Online** : no

 **Sword Art Online** has left the group.

 **Sword Art Online** was added to group.

 **Sword Art Online** : how do i change my name

 **Sword Art Online** changed their name to **Genji**.

 **Genji** : nvm i got it

 **Yeehaw** : you’re no fun c]:^/

 **The Big Boss™** : what’s up with your sad face?

 **Yeehaw** : it’s a cowboy hat! like it?

 **Naruto** : It’s nice c]:^)

 **Naruto** was removed from the group.

 **Naruto** was added to group.

 **Yeehaw** : sorry bout that. that was a warning. don’t steal my hat

 **Naruto** : Or what? c]:^)

 **Yeehaw** : c]>:^(

 **Genji** : that’s just too much for one emoji

 **Genji** : you gotta pick

 **Genji** : hat or eyebrows

 **Yeehaw** : what if i want both?

 **Genji** : you can’t have both. life sucks that way

 **Yeehaw** : c]<:^(

 **Genji** : the emoji police will hear about this

 **The Big Boss™** : what’s this all about jesse?

 **Yeehaw** : oh yeah! i made us a group chat so we can communicate easier

 **The Big Boss™** : that’s what our comms are for.

 **Yeehaw** : but what if we can’t talk at any point?

 **Yeehaw** : like what if one of us is hiding somewhere and can’t be heard? this way they can just type instead!!

 **Naruto** : That… actually makes a lot of sense.

 **Yeehaw** : see? 100% of the scientists we asked support the product so it must be a good idea

 **The Big Boss™** : fine. but don’t use this channel unless absolutely necessary. no spamming. no unrelated topics. this is purely for missions or emergencies

 **Yeehaw** : you got it boss c];^)

 **The Big Boss™** : don’t wink. why are you winking?

 **Yeehaw** : no reason c];;;^)

 **The Big Boss™** : jesse

 **Yeehaw** : sorry

 **Naruto** : Incredible, he managed to shut you up through text alone.

 **Genji** : i finally have hopes for this chat

 **Genji** ’s name has been changed to **Sword Art Online**.

 **Sword Art Online** : jesse

 **Yeehaw** : yea sugarplum?

 **Naruto** : I think it only works when Reyes does this.

 **Sword Art Online** : fuck

 **Sword Art Online** : can i at least have a good show instead?

 **Yeehaw** : sure, go ahead

 **Sword Art Online** changed their name to **Fullmetal Alchemist**.

 **Yeehaw** : shouldn’t it be partiallymetal alchemist if anything?

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : you have 5 seconds to run

 **Yeehaw** : you don’t even know where i am rn

 **Yeehaw** : why do i hear steps

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : only because i want you to hear them.

 **Yeehaw** : OH SHIT

 **Naruto** : Can’t say he didn’t warn you.

 **The Big Boss™** : what did i say literally five minutes ago?

 **Yeehaw** : sorry boss

 **Naruto** : How come you’re still here? Hasn’t Genji killed you?

 **Yeehaw** : he tried

 **Yeehaw** : but then i hugged him and he started crying

 **Yeehaw** : and i joined in because he literally wears 20 knives on him at any given second and i got cut

 **Yeehaw** : so now we’re both lying on the floor crying

 **Yeehaw** : and also bleeding

 **Yeehaw** : but that’s just me

 **Naruto** : Do you need me to patch you up?

 **Yeehaw** : maybe

 **Naruto** : Come over here then.

 **Yeehaw** : nah

 **Yeehaw** : it’s comfy here

 **Yeehaw** : real cozy

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : mccree i have a question

 **Yeehaw** : shoot

 **The Big Boss™** : aren’t you guys right next to each other? why are you typing? why in a chat with us too?

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : why do you type your accent?

 **Yeehaw** : gotta keep my brand up darling c];^)

 **Naruto** : Ah, I was wondering what happened to the cowboy hat faces.

 **The Big Boss™** : why did i even ask

 **Yeehaw** : GUYS WAIT

 **Yeehaw** : I JUST GOT

 **Yeehaw** : A GREAT IDEA

 **Yeehaw** : _c]_;^)

 **Yeehaw** : fuck this didn’t work

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : did you… try to tip your cowboy hat

 **Yeehaw** : yeah c]:^(

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : aksdhsjfgsdgfuck

 **Naruto** : You can’t use the italicizing function for parts of text. You have to space stuff to make it work

 **Yeehaw** : _c]_ ;^) like this?

 **Yeehaw** : YES

 **Yeehaw** : it looks wrong tho

 **Yeehaw** : so far from this fella’s head…… might as well not have a hat at all c]:^/

 **Yeehaw** : guess i just gotta go the old fashioned way

 **Yeehaw** : **tips cowboy hat**

 **Yeehaw** : no i didn’t mean to bold this

 **Yeehaw** : fuck

 **Yeehaw** : -tips cowboy hat-

 **Yeehaw** : there we go

 **The Big Boss™** : mccree.

 **Yeehaw** : sorry boss

[10:41 AM]

 **The Big Boss™** has been promoted to admin.

 **Naruto** : What’s the occasion?

 **Yeehaw** : he forced me to do this so he can shut us up if needed c];^(

 **The Big Boss™** : and now seems like a great time to use my powers for good

 **The Big Boss™** : did it work?

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : did what work?

 **The Big Boss™** : fuck

 **The Big Boss™** : i thought silencing this chat meant you guys can’t write in it

 **Yeehaw** : nah it just means you won’t get notifications from it

 **The Big Boss™** : fuck

 **Naruto** : So articulate.

 **Yeehaw** : hey gabe do you think we need anime names too?

 **The Big Boss™** : no.

 **Yeehaw** : really? i feel like we’re kind of left out

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : you literally picked everyone’s names

 **Yeehaw** : yeah but i’m having second thoughts :^(

 **Naruto** : No hat?

 **Yeehaw** : i’m too distressed for my hat rn. i gotta pick a new name

 **Yeehaw** : WAIT I GOT IT

 **Yeehaw** changed their name to **Cowboy Bebop**.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : c]:D

 **Naruto** : There he is.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : now we just need one for reyes…

 **The Big Boss™** : no you don’t.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : hey boss how do you feel about evangelion?

 **The Big Boss™** : no.

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : i have a great anime idea for you

 **Cowboy Bebop** : oh? :eyes:

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : hold on lemme tell you irl. i wanna surprise him

[11:02 AM]

 **The Big Boss™** ’s name was changed to **Homestuck**.

 **Homestuck** : NO.

 **Homestuck** : mccree

 **Homestuck** : change my name

 **Cowboy Bebop** : you can change it yourself!! even if you weren’t an admin!!

 **Homestuck** : i don’t know how

 **Homestuck** : change it

 **Cowboy Bebop** : to what?

 **Homestuck** : i don’t care. just not this

 **Homestuck** : why did you even pick that for me??

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : it’s complex

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : just like your soul

 **Cowboy Bebop** : also you and jack have this kismesis thing going on

 **Homestuck** : CHANGE MY NAME. NOW

 **Cowboy Bebop** : alright, jeez c]:^(

 **Homestuck** ’s name was changed to **Homestuck 2**.

 **Homestuck 2** : MCCREE.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : it was moira’s idea

 **Naruto** : ::::)

[11:52 AM]

 **Cowboy Bebop** changed the group’s name to _Old Tacos (which is another word for anime freaks)_.

 **Homestuck 2** changed the group’s name to _BW_.

 **Naruto** changed the group’s name to _Is this how I change the group name? Does it have a character limit? How does th_.

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** changed the group’s name to _Please shut up_.

 **Cowboy Bebop** changed the group’s name to _Anime 2_.

[2:12 PM]

 **Homestuck 2** : we have a mission today. we leave in an hour. be ready and wait for me at the landing pad. debriefing on the way

 **Cowboy Bebop** : aw, see? you can type it here and this way no one’ll miss it if they’re distracted atm or smth! this chat is so useful, just like i expected!

 **Homestuck 2** : you spent 13 minutes trying to tip a cowboy hat in text yesterday and spammed all of us with useless notifications

 **Cowboy Bebop** : and it was all to test your patience! i’m givin y’all extra training! go team!

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : what do we need to bring?

 **Homestuck 2** : basic weapons. nothing too big or flashy or loud. this is a stealthy one

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : got it

 **Cowboy Bebop** : wym loud?

 **Homestuck 2** : you know damn well what i mean.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : n-no i don’t

 **Naruto** : Did you really just type a stutter?

 **Cowboy Bebop** : i’m building the atmosphere, moira. jeez. so unprofessional

 **Homestuck 2** : i’ll let you bring peacekeeper if you promise not to shoot it

 **Cowboy Bebop** : c]:^( fine

 **Homestuck 2** : good

 **Homestuck 2** : any other questions?

 **Homestuck 2** : i’ll take this as a no

 **Homestuck 2** : oh and by the way

 **Homestuck 2** : you haven’t done it yet but i’m giving you a just in case

 **Homestuck 2** : don’t mention our… group’s name in here

 **Homestuck 2** : i know our channels are safe but still. in case they ever get hacked or something. can’t let people outside know about BW

 **Homestuck 2** : only refer to it as BW if needed then. got it?

 **Cowboy Bebop** : yeh

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : got it

 **Naruto** : Understood

 **Homestuck 2** : good. now go get ready

 **Homestuck 2** : we’re gonna kick ass -puts on sunglasses-

 **Cowboy Bebop** : gabe c]:’^) you joined me in typed actions hell!!

 **Homestuck 2** : i started this hell, kid. you are merely a guest here -winks from above my sunglasses-

 **Cowboy Bebop** : i’m crying

 **Cowboy Bebop** : -cries-

 **Homestuck 2** : you’re kicked out

 **Cowboy Bebop** : yeah that’s understandable

 **Naruto** : -genetically mutates a rabbit to start eating meat until it grows hungry for flesh and starts killing people-

 **Homestuck 2** : thank you for your contribution

 **Homestuck 2** : is there something you need to tell us?

 **Naruto** : :::;)

 **Cowboy Bebop** : i’m scared

 **Cowboy Bebop** : i’m not sure i can kill a rabbit in case it tries to kill me first

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : dw i’ll kill it for you

 **Cowboy Bebop** : my hero c]:’^3

 **Homestuck 2** : adding to my original rules for this chat: no flirting

 **Cowboy Bebop** : you think this is flirting? this isn’t even my final form

 **Homestuck 2** : wrong anime, kid

 **Homestuck 2** : but don’t flirt here either way

 **Cowboy Bebop** : what’s that really old meme? challenge accepted

 **Homestuck 2** : jesse

 **Cowboy Bebop** : sorry

 **Naruto** : It still works!

 **Fullmetal Alchemist** : incredible…

 **Homestuck 2** : go get ready for the mission.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : he added a period so that means he’s REALLY serious

 **Homestuck 2** : jesse.

 **Cowboy Bebop** : i have never feared for my life more than i do now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man finishing lines are hard to write huh,,,,  
> i'm keeping this as a oneshot for now unless i get inspiration for more and in that case i'll just add chapters as they're written  
> thank you for reading ^-^!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang Goes Out The Get Some Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to use the "where are you?" "WE'RE. FUCKING. (GETTING. DRINKS.)" meme thing in this fic so i started writing this chapter back in december then i forgot about it and now 4 months later i found the wip and decided to make things gay   
> the last part is a private convo in case it's not clear enough ! we're mixing stuff up now bois

[11:35 PM]

**Homestuck 2:** great job on the mission today everyone

**Cowboy Bebop:** aw shucks, thank you c];3

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** furry

**Cowboy Bebop:** look who’s talking

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** excuse me?

**Cowboy Bebop:** i’ve seen your fursona sketches. you can’t fool me, genji.

**Cowboy Bebop:** or should i say

**Cowboy Bebop:** baihu

**Homestuck 2:** so anyway i thought about taking you guys to celebrate this mission, just go out as a group. what do you say?

**Naruto:** What did you have in mind?

**Homestuck 2:** getting some drinks maybe?

**Homestuck 2:** oh shit

**Homestuck 2:** i’m sorry genji, i know you can’t drink but maybe hanging out would be fun anyway?

**Homestuck 2:** …

**Homestuck 2:** where _ is _ genji?

**Naruto:** According to the sounds of fighting and struggling I could hear from McCree’s room, I believe he went there to kill him for exposing his fursona.

**Homestuck 2:** god damnit

**Homestuck 2:** do you think i need to break them up?

**Naruto:** I believe that won’t be necessary.

**Homestuck 2:** ?

**Homestuck 2:** nvm i hear it too

**Homestuck 2:** damn kids

[12:14 AM]

**Cowboy Bebop:** what did we miss

**Homestuck 2:** you can literally read back in the conversation

**Cowboy Bebop:** but i still won’t! sum it up for me

**Homestuck 2:** i wanted to take you guys out for drinks to celebrate the mission’s success

**Cowboy Bebop:** ooooooo that sounds like a mighty fine idea! i’m in

**Homestuck 2:** genji?

**Cowboy Bebop:** he says he’ll join us too!

**Homestuck 2:** great. we’re leaving in 10 minutes

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** i never said i’ll join

**Cowboy Bebop:** cmon sugarplum it’ll be fun!

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** for you maybe

**Homestuck 2:** can you like, not do this here

**Cowboy Bebop:** you’ll get to see me be drunk, it’ll be funny!

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** i’ve seen you drunk before. nothing too special

**Cowboy Bebop:** :(

**Homestuck 2: can you like, not do this here**

**Naruto:** No, I want to see where this goes.

**Cowboy Bebop:** hey now, this is a private conversation

**Homestuck 2:** …

**Naruto:** I have never seen such accurate way to portray “looks into the camera like I’m in The Office” in text before.

**Homestuck 2:** it’s one of my secret talents.

**Cowboy Bebop:** aight folks genji said he’ll come w/ us! hooray!

**Homestuck 2:** good. you have 3 minutes to get ready now

**Cowboy Bebop:** shit

[12:47 AM]

**Homestuck 2:** don’t go too far

**Homestuck 2:** it’s dark in here and i don’t want you getting involved in any trouble

**Homestuck 2:** don’t start any shit either

**Cowboy Bebop:** ok mom

**Homestuck 2:** jesse

**Cowboy Bebop:** what

**Naruto:** :O

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** :O

**Homestuck 2:** (he’s tipsy. i’m used to it)

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** oh

**Homestuck 2:** genji, can you keep an eye on him?

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** i can try 

**Homestuck 2:** thank you

**Homestuck 2:** i’ll be at the table near the wall of the exit if you need me

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** :thumbs_up:

**Cowboy Bebop:** where’s moira?

**Homestuck 2:** …

**Homestuck 2:** fuck

[12:59 AM]

**Homestuck 2:** found moira, don’t worry

[1:13 AM]

**Homestuck 2:** where are you guys? can’t see you anywhere

[1:21 AM]

**Homestuck 2:** ?

[1:34 AM]

**Homestuck 2:** jesse?

**Homestuck 2:** genji?

[1:52 AM]

**Cowboy Bebop:** h

**Homestuck 2:** jesse?

**Homestuck 2:** where are you guys????

**Cowboy Bebop:** WE’RE

**Cowboy Bebop:** FUCKING

**Homestuck 2:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** mccree dropped his phone in the middle of typing. we’re getting drinks

**Homestuck 2:** thank god

**Naruto:** He was already on his way to call Jack, something about their son being deflowered.

**Homestuck 2:** moira.

**Naruto:** Yes Gabriel? ::::)

**Fullmetal Alchemist** : i think this only works on jesse

**Homestuck 2:** fuck

**Homestuck 2:** moira. don’t

**Naruto:** :::;)

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** but don’t worry reyes i won’t do anything 

**Homestuck 2:** ...thank you?

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** and if i did i wouldn’t tell you or let jesse tell you either

**Homestuck 2:** yeah you’re ruining it

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** sorry 

**Cowboy Bebop:** whatccha y’aall talaking aboutut?

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** don’t worry about it :)

**Cowboy Bebop:** nono i sa aw my namew 

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** i’ll tell you later

**Cowboy Bebop:** thanka yoiu genejei <#2 yuou alaywas tyaake casre of fme <#<##.<#3,3,3<##<3#<#,3#<3,3#<##

**Homestuck 2:** yeah i think it’s time for us to go back to base

**Naruto:** Agreed.

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** yeah

**Cowboy Bebop:** ccsna i geet a drijnk fofifr the roead? 

**Homestuck 2:** i have no idea what he’s saying

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** he’s asking if he can have a drink for the road

**Homestuck 2:** damn genji those are some skills

**Homestuck 2:** no

**Cowboy Bebop:** FFUCKC YOU DDASD!!!!!!!

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** do you need a translation for that too?

**Homestuck 2:** no, i manage.

**Homestuck 2:** can you get him to the entrance? our ride is outside

**Fullmetal Alchemist:** yeah i think so

**Homestuck 2:** thank you

[2:31 AM]

**[McCree]:** heeyu resyees?

**To [McCree]:** what it is jesse?

**[McCree]:** hhwow didid you and jacck get togeteher?

**To [McCree]:** who said we’re together

**[McCree]:** ……………….,.,.,.,,,,..

**To [McCree]:** yeah okay

**To [McCree]:** we were together in the sep thing, you know that

**To [McCree]:** became friends

**To [McCree]:** then at some point along the way it became more than that, i guess

**To [McCree]:** why do you ask?

**[McCree]:** ddid yuou guyss havbee sexxx…………

**[McCree]:** ssroiry

**[McCree]:** ii dodn’t wannaa kwnwow thatat anywaya

**To [McCree]:** hey jesse, do you think you can type better? i’m too tired to decipher your drunk texting 

**[McCree]:** yyeah, i can trry but itlll taake me longeerr

**To [McCree]:** i can live with that.

**[McCree]:** hhwow long didd it take yall?

**[McCree]:** tto get togetherr i mean

**To [McCree]:** about 2 years since we first met

**To [McCree]:** what’s up with these questions?

**[McCree]:** iwanna .i wanna askk genji out

**To [McCree]:** i honestly thought you were together already

**To [McCree]:** just ask him out 

**[McCree]:** no!!! what if hee saysas no

**To [McCree]:** what if he says yes?

**[McCree]:** :O

**[McCree]:** ur so right….

**[McCree]:** butt how willl i even aask him…

**To [McCree]:** just be honest

**To [McCree]:** ask him if he wants to do something you think he might like

**To [McCree]:** don’t forget to make it clear that it’s a date

**To [McCree]:** be direct and tell him you like him

**[McCree]:** thaanks boss <#

**To [McCree]:** yeah no problem

**To [McCree]:** can’t believe this is my life now

**To [McCree]:** giving love advice to some cowboy at 2:30 am

**[McCree]:** nnot some cowboy!!! the best cowboy

**[McCree]:** imm goingg to sleep

**To [McCree]** : good

**To [McCree]:** you get extra laps tomorrow for keeping me up

**[McCree]:** bbut ill be hungoevr D: 

**To [McCree]:** yeah. that’s your punishment for getting drunk and being an ass

**[McCree]:** :((

**[McCree]:** i acccept mt punishment in bravery

**To [McCree]:** good for you. now go to bed

**[McCree]:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can see this fic is now gonna be chaptered fr bc apparently it has a story now? not really but anyway  
> hope you liked this big surprising update!!!   
> find me on tumblr @jewcree


End file.
